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I Have a Bad Habit of Appearing Disinterested
Sometimes, I don’t respond right away or at all. It’s a habit of mine. I didn’t realize how much it affects others. It wasn’t disinterest. More like me not knowing what to say or how I feel about my initial response. That’s my fault. I take responsibility for that. History always plays a role, so…
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Don’t You Wish There Was A Way Out?
If I could drink and smoke all of my problems and fears away, I would do that until the end of time. I can’t. I’m smart enough to know it won’t work. Curious enough to try every once in a while, just to see. Too sensitive to withstand its effects on me. I choose to…
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Existing During a Transition Period
Welcome back! I got away from doing updates, but here I am. Informal and honest. Here’s a few things that I’ve been experiencing. TikTok and General Social Media I opened the TikTok app today for the first time since the beginning of the year, and it felt so foreign. I spent 10 minutes swiping through…
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Protected: This Place Sure Does Know How To Wear Someone Down
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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Doing Something for the First-Time
I started creating something a while back. Now, I’m almost finished with it, Something I hardly say about stuff like this. I’m only sharing this development here, Since this is my only safe space on the internet. No one knows I’m doing this. I’m happy with the direction. It’s my first-time doing something like this.…
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I’m An Artist, Aren’t I?
This isn’t a creative piece. Just a valid question that always seems to reappear, despite the years of going back and forth and denying this label. Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to cope.
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Have You Ever Seen Venus Twinkle During Dawn?
Someone asked me: “What is one thing that made you happy recently?” Have you ever seen Venus twinkle during dawn? A lightning storm hovering in the distance. Plane silence triggering a unique ambience. Slight turbulence resetting the moment. Again and again. I wasn’t expecting that. It didn’t last. It never does when the sun is…
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I thought I was doing a better job at flying under the radar
I guess it’s something that’s outside of my control. Someone has always noticed. Now, my influence is all over the place. It’s hardly immediate. Things resurface from long ago, So long that I forgot about many of the things that I’ve done. Who I’ve touched, What I’ve said, How I appeared, It’s a mystery to…
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It’s a New Year, and I Don’t Play.
I used to play. For fun. To indulge the other person. To make light of the situation. To feel good. To feel better. But the surface is hardly ever fun long-term, I wanted something real. And playing leads to uncertainty, To mixed feelings, To boredom, And longing for more. So I stopped, Abruptly. It was…
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“Currently” Making Progress: Mid-April 2025 Check-In?
Currently Maintaining An Exercise Routine I’m still exercising, mostly every other day. I may have missed a few days over the past two weeks. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m still making progress and showing up. Since I last wrote here, I’ve increased the ski machine distance to 2200m (still level 10). My goal was…
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