Game Playing Through a Creative Lens: I wanted to explore game playing, my experience as a participant, and the viewpoint during the game. It's fun, until it isn't. Unless it's a puzzle. Puzzles are always fun.

I used to play. 

For fun.

To indulge the other person.

To make light of the situation.

To feel good.

To feel better.

But the surface is hardly ever fun long-term,

I wanted something real. 

And playing leads to uncertainty,

To mixed feelings,

To boredom,

And longing for more.

So I stopped,

Abruptly. 

It was jarring to those who were into the game.

They liked playing,

And they loved playing the game with me.

It was no longer fun for me.

And when I left, it felt like a loss. 

As if playing was as fun as it gets.

The only way I’d win.

The only way we’d win.

Playing always hurts.

I never showed it.

It felt unnecessary.

Petty.

I didn’t acknowledge my needs,

For the fun of the game.

I didn’t want to sacrifice what little joy I gained,

From playing with them.

I knew the game.

I acknowledge the rules.

I agreed to them.

I didn’t know it wouldn’t be enough for me.

I didn’t know feelings could change fast.

Or that I’d notice the difference.

Everyone knew. 

I knew.

They did too.

It wasn’t hard to see,

We didn’t hide it well.

That’s when the game is no longer fun.

Not for me, but maybe for them?

I didn’t ask.

I just stopped playing.

Looking for another creative post? Try: For The Rage: Where Do You Go?

Looking for a creative video? Try: https://youtu.be/DkFoMqdFchM